Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

'Club World Ca$h Grab': Players don protest shirts at pregame - Sounder at Heart

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Soaring U.S. debt doesn’t just put America at risk. It could trigger contagion across global markets, IIF warns - AOL.com

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I actually pay taxes

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

U.S. Space Force awards BAE Systems $1.2 billion contract for missile-tracking satellites - SpaceNews

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

A failed Soviet Venus probe from the '70s crashed to Earth in May — why was it so hard to track? - Space

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

In England, there's a small city called York which was named after New York. Why wasn't London, the largest city in England, named after New York? Why York?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Aut explicabo sapiente quis consequuntur fuga consectetur fugit.

I can read

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

U.S. Open power rankings: Every player at Oakmont ranked Nos. 1-156 - NBC Sports

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Cosmic Crash Course: Supercomputer Captures the Birth of a Black Hole in 1.5 Seconds - SciTechDaily

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

POLL: ESPN writer stokes the flames of Lions trading for All-Pro EDGE - Pride Of Detroit

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

YouTube is hiding an excellent, official high-speed Pac-Man mod in plain sight - Ars Technica

I don’t cotton to rapists

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Why is it so common for married white women to have an affair with black men? Does it bother white guys?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags